


years gone by

by duckiehyucky



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-03
Updated: 2019-01-03
Packaged: 2019-10-03 20:49:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,006
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17291162
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/duckiehyucky/pseuds/duckiehyucky





	years gone by

may 2019

 

he was quiet and still, he almost looked like he was made from marble. his eyes shifted, shimmering with tears, as he watched the tv screen. it was a late tuesday night, the clock’s ticking had become white noise to him, and his grip on the remote loosened. 

his feet pattered up the stairs, as he made his way to his bedroom. he wiped away the tears that were smeared across his face. the movie he watched had been particularly sad, and his exhaustion didn’t help him keep his emotions under control. when he reached his bed he sighed, and was soon unaware of the world around him, and how peaceful he looked.

he slept well, even if it was only three or four hours, and felt as if he would actually be able to get himself to work on time that day. the morning air was pleasant, and the warmth of late May was definitely showing. the watch on his wrist read 8:47 am, giving him thirteen minutes to walk to the small cafe where he worked. he picked up his pace, and pushed the cafe door open at 8:56 am, giving his boss no excuse to yell at him for the nth time that week.

the day passed slowly, with customers arriving every so often only to leave as meaninglessly as they came. to him, they were just names scribbled on to disposable cups that he only had to say once, and never think about again. 

but to the customers, he was so much  
more.

he was the young boy with the sweet smile, who always brightened up the old lady’s day, or the “cute cashier who works at the local cafe” who stole a teenage girl’s heart without even realising, he was the decent kid who was always polite to the business man that stopped by way too early in the mornings, the kind boy who apologised when he got an order wrong, no matter what, and the broke college student, who i definitely recognised from one of my classes.

 

november 2018

it had been a thursday when i first saw him. the pale sunrise was calming and the crisp november air nipped at my ears. he was sitting on the side of the pavement, headphones in and eyes closed. his dark brown hair fell over his forehead, his cheeks slightly rosy from the cold. his clothes were darkly coloured, and were too big for him. he almost seemed to drown in them. he looked peaceful. 

i arrived to my first lecture about fifteen minutes after i saw the boy. i’d been thinking about him while i walked. why was he sitting outside? why was he alone? was he happy there? sad? i imagined a life for him, one where he was in a perfect home with a perfect family and friends. i imagined him to have what i wanted in a family, in life. i knew it was unlikely that he did.

i was shocked to see him trudge into my 9am lecture. i’d expected him to be one of those people you only ever see once, but never forget what their face looks like. one of those strangers that you think about when your mind goes blank. you know the kind. 

by now he’d taken out his headphones and opened his eyes (obviously). he was a few rows away, but from my seat, i could see his eyes were brown. instead of being the soft, warm type of brown i’d expected, they were cold and stern. i’d turned away before there could be any eye contact.

 

 

it had been about a week after i saw him in class that i found him in the coffee shop. he was wearing white that day. his button up was crisp and his skin looked golden in comparison. 

i walked to the counter and he greeted me monotoniously. i ordered a hot chocolate, and he told me my total. i paid and waited for my drink. 

i watched him while he made it. the clanging of china cups and the sound of the coffee machine mixed with the low chatter and soft jazz music that filled the nearly empty cafe. he wasn’t exactly gentle while mixing the chocolate, but not careless enough to spill anything. i had a clear view of his side profile, the slope of his nose was soft, and his lips slightly parted as he worked. he handed me my drink, showing a barely there smile as he told me to have a good day.

i’d been sitting in the cafe for maybe ten minutes before i realised it was him. i’d mumbled a quite ‘oh shit’ at that moment, causing the old woman sitting near me to send a glare. then i sat quietly, straining my eyes to try and see his name tag.

my focus on him was broken when an employee came to ask if i was finished. i nodded slowly and thanked them as they took away my now empty cup. i looked back over to the counter, the mystery boy now missing from his place behind it.

 

december 2018

i didn't see him again for a long time. maybe a month or so. i’d nearly forgotten about him. nearly. 

rain poured heavily as i jogged to the coffee shop down the road from my university. i figured waiting there for the rain to stop was my best option. i didn't want a cold.

the bell chimed as i pushed open the door, only to reveal an entirely empty shop, bar the boy at the counter. 

“hello.” he said

 

i stood still for a very long time. i didn't expect to see him again. let alone without any other people around. i began to worry that he somehow knew i’d been thinking about him and his back story.

“is everything alright? did you want to order something or...?” he trails off at the end and i snap back into reality. “oh right, could i have a- a hot chocolate please?” he smiled very slightly and nodded, beginning to work. 

he handed me my drink and i looked up from where i’d had my eyes trained on the floor. his dark hair was pushed back off his face today, and his eyes looked significantly warmer than the first time i’d seen them. adorning another large sweater that he looked small in, he smiled at me again and went back to the kitchen.

i took a seat and tried to process the interaction i’d just had. the room was now empty, excluding me, and honestly, i wished it wasn't.

 

 

rain was still pouring by the time i’d finished my hot chocolate. after sitting in a somewhat calming silence for a while, the mystery boy came back from the kitchen.

“hey, sorry to bother you, but i actually need to lock up now so, i'm gonna need you to leave.”

“oh, yeah sure, sorry” i was embarrassed that i’d overstayed my welcome without realising. checking my phone, i noticed that four hours is an awfully long time to be in a cafe.

“nah don't worry about it, going home isn't exactly my favourite thing in the world.” he gave a soft chuckle at the end of his statement. i still don't know if it was to hide some kind of pain.

“oh, i'm sorry to hear that” i was saying ‘oh’ a lot.

“hm? ah yeah well, y’know, that's how it is sometimes, right?” he smiled gently.

“yeah, of course.” i returned it.

he let me pack up my things and showed me to the door, waving slowly as i bid him good night. the “open” sign quickly became “closed” and the blinds were pulled shut.

 

february 2019

 

“i’m going to throw myself off a cliff.”

i was sitting in the cafe again with my friends, who also happen to be two of the biggest idiots i’ve ever met.

“jeno, you can’t say stuff like that around the infant, he doesn’t understand death yet.” 

“i’m a whole two years younger than you jaemin, i hardly qualify as an infant.”

jisung and jeno are two people i’ve known for the past three years. jeno, my age and jisung, as he said, two years behind.

we were having a ‘study date’. our so called study dates usually consist of jeno wanting to die, me unsuccessfully convincing him not to be so negative, and jisung drinking twice his body weight in hot chocolate. and that was exactly what happened on this particular day.

“i seriously can’t figure out why you love this cafe so much.” came jisung’s voice, “the hot chocolates are tiny.”

“maybe,” jeno replied, “if you didn’t neck it in half a second, it wouldn’t feel that way.” 

the bickering continued and faded into background noise as our work was forgotten. i let myself sit back and zone out a little, my eyes eventually wondering. 

i was stone still when i saw him. how could i have forgotten this was where he worked? it’d been, what? maybe two months since the rain incident? not long enough to forget the mystery boy, but long enough to forget where he worked apparently. which is also happens to be the only place i’ve ever interacted with him.

i couldn’t let the others know about my- i don't really know what it was- but i certainly wasn't going to tell them about it. that would only cause for endless teasing and maybe even a chance of them talking to him.

i still didn't know his name.

i was brought back to reality when jeno waved his hand across my face.

“why are so out of it today? and who are you staring -“

“may i take your plates?”

“oh yeah, thanks. wait, do you think i could get another hot chocolate?” 

jeno and jisung began another debate about jisungs huge sweet tooth, but my eyes couldn’t shift from his face. he was here, and talking to me again. well, talking to all of us, but still. his black shirt was slightly creased, and he looked tired, but still breathtaking and-

“jaemin? you’re doing it again.”

i turned to jeno who, along with jisung and the mystery boy, was watching me.

“i-um, sorry, i just, tired?” i could barely scrape together a coherent reply for gods sake.

“i can make you a coffee if you want? i know you usually order a hot chocolate, but, my treat?”

i was stunned, but quickly nodded and squeaked out a thank you as my face turned red. the other two seemed to be in shock as mystery boy walked back to the counter.

“so, that’s why jaem likes coming here so much.”

 

march 2019

i avoided the coffee shop for a while.

for some unknown reason, the offer of him buying me a coffee when we were barely acquaintances threw me off. who buys a stranger coffee just because they said they were tired? and how had he memorised my order when i’d only ordered it, what, maybe twice?

the whole incident seemed very odd to me. and strangers acting friendly wasn’t exactly something i was comfortable with. it always felt kind of desperate, as if they were so lonely and in need of someone to befriend. now i think about it, maybe that’s all he needed, a friend.

 

only once had i seen him in my lecture, which was very strange. attendance was important to my professor, you couldn’t skip every lecture except one. you wouldn’t ever part of the class if you did that. the mystery boy was indeed, a mystery. at least, in how he managed to constantly be top of the class.

my class was small, only having around thirty people, and i’d been introduced to everyone, so seeing the unfamiliar name of ‘Huang Renjun’ at the top if the list stumped me for a couple of seconds, before i could match a name to a face. he was the only possible candidate.


End file.
